Let's Get Lost

notes from a bathtub..

l watched the tide rise and fall and spit furiously at the rocks like the gods were taking pot shots at me.l took a big breathe in and smelt the faint promise of better days and saw etched in the sand years of timeless memories.is life just a series of moments and fragments pieced together so we you look back it just seems to fit no matter if it ever did?. we are all so tightly connected by words. simple phrases that can make or break the way you feel and yet we cant say exactly what we feel most of the time.we live by feigned instinct and an underlying desire to be accepted.
but no matter how hard the storm takes hold the unexpected can hit at any moment, like an anchor that suddenly grounds you to a halt.we get so borne down by routines that we can bypass even the most simple pleasures in life.how can l live today when l keep looking to yesterday?

She walks in,l smile, she smiles,she wanders over to me.we exchange pleasantries, an awkward silence appears grippng me so tighly l can hardly breathe,sweat builds around my neck and my mind races for something cool and relaxed to say,seconds pass but l feel like l’ve been here for days.once so close now distance looms over us like an ever threatening rain cloud.my stomach knots up and my heart starts thumping.l could once tell this person anything now l struggle to say hello.l tear out my bones to build a wall between me and these never ending emotions.

my heart feels like a machine, little men turning cogs and wheels to flow blood and words to my brain and back but sometimes they go on strike leaving my heart to go overtime resulting in many emotions and feelings spilling out if my mouth with no control splattering on paper like a rorschach test.

l stand at the edge of darkness and wait for the night to swallow me whole.


god damn, l cant write anything today....

tonight i am down to my soul
tonight i am gambling with my sentiment
tonight i am gambling with my salvation
tonight i am damned to my soul